Unkillable Kim
by Yankee Bard
Summary: Drakken's weapon from the past threatens to erase Kim Possible forever, but thanks to Ron, Rufus and a few others she's back better than ever.  ONESHOT  Read and Review please.


**UNKILLABLE KIM**

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The story is so old it's almost boring. Kim Possible and her boyfriend Ron Stoppable planned a romantic dinner at the Middleton Chateau, followed by a little alone time, just to relax and enjoy being together. As usual, before they could even have dessert, Wade interrupted their evening.

"Drakken's at it again," came Wade's voice from the kimmunicator. "He's got a new lair up in the Rockies near Yellowstone Park and he's threatening to use his new doomsday weapon to turn the park into a huge volcano."

"We're on it Wade. Got a ride for us?" Kim replied, obviously tweaked.

"Doesn't he ever take a vacation?" Ron moaned, leaving his unfinished lobster on the plate as they rushed out of the restaurant. "Maaan, just once I'd like find out what would happen if we ever got some time alone."

"Why Ronald, I believe you're having some of those evil thoughts my dad always warns me about," Kim said, laughing. "OK. Head in the game. It's only Drakken so we should be able to finish this up quick and still have a little time for other things." Just to be certain Ron knew what other things she had in mind, she leaned over and gave him a passionate kiss.

"Uhh, not that I'm complaining, mind you, but that doesn't help me keep focused on Drakken," Ron said as he tried to catch his breath.

"Later," Kim replied. "Ride's here." The two heroes quickly boarded a Global Justice VTOL craft and took off into the western sky.

KPKPKPKP

Arriving at Drakken's lair, they found it surprisingly unguarded. "I smell trap, KP," Ron exclaimed as they entered the ventilation shaft.

"Uh huh, uh huh, trap," Rufus interjected from Ron's pocket.

"But if we know it's a trap…" Ron continued.

"Not the Trap Trap thing again Ron? We've been over that several times since the TV sitch. A trap is a trap is a trap. So we just watch out and try to avoid it." Kim replied, trying to hide her frustration. She loved him dearly, but sometimes he could really get on her nerves. "At least we know he's not stealing Christmas this time."

"Can't be so sure Kimbo. Drakken's an evil guy who stops at nothing in his mad quest for world domination," Ron replied, purposefully ignoring her dig.

"Yeah, right," Kim growled in reply as they moved through the shaft.

Meanwhile, inside the lair Shego asked her boss, "So Dr. D, where is this marvelous device that's going to turn Yellowstone into a huge volcano. I hope this works out better than your plan to drown Wisconsin in magma."

"Silence, Shego," the blue skinned scientist replied. "My true plan will reveal itself in due time."

"Why do I keep working for this whacko," Shego whispered to herself under her breath.

"What was that, Shego? Another snide comment about my plans?"

"Oh no, Dr. D. I was just thinking out loud, wondering how far we can go with this before Kim Possible and the buffoon show up," Shego replied.

"About to here," Kim responded, dropping from the ventilation shaft and landing just behind Shego. Ron quickly followed, looking around the lab for anything that might qualify as a doomsday device. The only thing he saw was an odd looking vehicle with a huge tank and what appeared to be a fire nozzle mounted above the cab.

Kim and Shego immediately got into it, each avoiding the other's blows while trying to gain the advantage. The good doctor merely watched, apparently waiting for the right moment to trigger his doomsday device.

"Uh, excuse me," Ron said, interrupting the doctor's thoughts. "I don't see anything here that looks like it could start a volcano. If this is just another one of your whacked plans to mess with my social life I am not gonna be pleased."

"I assure you, uhh, um…."

"Ron. Ron Stoppable. Maybe I should have it embroidered on my shirt so you can remember," Ron replied in a frustrated voice.

"Ah, yes. Well, uh, Ron was it? Well you see that truck over there? It was built years ago by my great uncle, a man known as Judge Doom. When he died under unfortunate circumstances, it went to his son, my uncle, who recently passed away, leaving it to me."

"Wow, something you didn't have to steal. This has gotta be a first for you, Doc." Ron said sarcastically. "It obviously doesn't start volcanoes so what DOES it do?"

"My great uncle built it to dispose a few troublesome animated characters. It fires a concentrated stream of a special substance called Dip under high pressure. With this machine I will erase your girlfriend once and for all." Drakken proudly explained then burst into an evil laugh.

"So this whole thing was a trap," Ron said. "I thought so."

"But not just a simple trap. I figured you two would suspect a trap, so I planted the false rumor about my volcano machine with your little geek friend. Then I set up my trap trap to take out your girlfriend."

"Trap Trap. I knew there was such a thing as a trap trap. That's why I was ready for you. Now if you will excuse me I will just…."

At that moment, Drakken picked up a remote control and pushed a lever. Ron looked at the device in the mad scientist's hand, then at the fire nozzle, which had begun spraying a stream of a smelly green liquid. "Get out of the way, Shego, and watch while I erase Kim Possible from the face of the earth. Muha ha ha ha!"

Shego sprang to one side and Drakken aimed the spray directly at Kim's waist. Immediately she began to dissolve. Meanwhile, Ron and Rufus headed for the truck, climbing aboard and locating the controls for the sprayer. They managed to shut it down and Rufus destroyed the control mechanism so Drakken couldn't get it going again. His eyes flashed blue as he leaped from the truck to the platform where Drakken and Shego stood. They never knew what hit them. When the two villains awoke a few minutes later they were firmly tied.

Ron found the kimmunicator and quickly contacted Wade. "Emergency situation here, Wade. Get GJ to send a Hazmat team and some agents to pick up Drakken and Shego. And get me a ride. They hit Kim with something called Dip. I need to get her to an artist quick. Right now she's just a head."

KPKPKPKP

The next day at the Disney studio, Ron and several artists gathered around the table where Kim's head lay. "Will she recover," Ron asked anxiously.

"We had to do this once before when she lost her body due to embarrassment. I'm pretty sure we can get her back to normal this time too. We just have to draw her a new body," the lead artist replied. "Of course this will be more of a challenge. Last time the outline was still there, all we had to do was color her in again."

"It will be just like my old body, right? I will still be able to do all the stuff I did before?" Kim's head asked, a worried look on her face.

"We can redraw you, even better than before. We have the technology," the artist replied.

"Redraw? Like from scratch?" Ron asked. The artist nodded. "Well, um could you make her (pointing to his chest) you know, a little bigger, and maybe her butt, and a few more curves wouldn't hurt…"

"Ron Stoppable," Kim's head interrupted, angrily. "I though you loved me the way I was. Now you want me to change for what? Some silly fantasy of yours? I don't think so."

"Well its like this, KP," Ron stammered. You were badically beautiful before. Now you have a chance to be ferociously gorgeous. I mean, I'll love you however you have them draw you, but if you go for the ferociously gorgeous Bonnie will be so tweaked….."

"You really think so, Ron?" Kim asked, an evil grin forming on her lips. Ron nodded. "OK. Make me ferociously gorgeous." she told the artist.

"And while you're at it, how about a new mission outfit that will, you know, distract the guy villains and henchmen," Ron added. The look he got from Kim told him it was very good thing she had neither hands nor feet at the moment.

The project was just getting under way when the phone rang. The lead artist picked it up, listened for a minute or so, then replied, "Yes, I understand. Not a problem." Then he hung up the phone and returned to work.

Ron watched the artists at work. Things seemed to be going well, so he took the opportunity to slip out to the canteen for some snackage. He returned as the artists put the finishing touches on Kim's new mission outfit. Once the ink dried, Ron helped her from the table, and pulled her into a tight hug. 'Wow' he thought to himself as he felt the new Kim press herself against him. "Boo-yah!" He exclaimed. "Now I have the world's most ferociously gorgeous heroine as a girlfriend!"

"You got what you wanted, Ronnie. Let's go finish what we started last night," Kim purred, leading him out of the room.

KPKPKPKPKP

A little later, out on Logging Camp Road, "Ron your eyes are there again!"

"Oh, sorry KP, got distracted. Heh Heh."

"You are such a man! Must I remind you there is more to me than just your two new toys?" Kim asked, trying to sound tweaked.

"Sorry." Their lips met and events started moving a little faster. Ron let one hand wander down across her stomach then stopped short, finding something cold and metallic. "KP? What's this? It feels like a belt with a lock."

Kim giggled. "Remember how you requested some wardrobe changes from the artist? So did my Dad."

"Rufus? I need you buddy. Can you pick that lock?"

Climbing out of Ron's pocket, the little mole rat grinned and nodded his head, but a few minutes later stood on his hind legs in squeaking in frustration. It sounded like he said, "tamper proof." Ron reached for the kimmunicator.

"Ron Stoppable!" came Kim's embarrassed shriek. "You are SO not calling Wade. Just take me home."

"Aw Mannnnn."

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Inspired by Richard Sirois's cartoon of the same name at Deviant Art, the climax of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and my own warped sense of humor. Characters belong to Disney. The Dip machine that now belongs to Drakken was formerly the property of Touchstone Pictures and Amblin Entertainment owners of the 1988 movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."


End file.
